A blog came out this week regarding godly men preferring women who are tattooless, debt-free virgins. It was posted in a discussion group that I am in. The majority of this article focused on whether or not a woman should go to college because of debt and other things that are possible consequences of attending. As much as that kind of grinds my gears, so to speak, that is not the part that I got into discussions about with my group. What the blog brought out of me in the discussions we had is what we place value on and how much. That’s what I want to bring to your attention today.
Any woman who has grown up in church or considers themselves to be a Christian probably at some time was taught how important it is to stay a virgin for their husband. Most likely you were told that tattoos were bad and to try to stay out of debt as well. However, I have seen much more value placed on being a virgin in comparison to the other two things, so I’d like to hone in on that.
Writing a blog for a ministry with a focus on rescuing sex trafficking victims, I began to think of the implications of value regarding virginity. I thought about those who have been rescued and never had a chance to preserve their virginity. What does that mean for them if they want to marry a godly man? If the man had to choose between them or a virgin would they automatically be rejected simply based on this factor? Does it mean they are worthless and unwanted? In this, I also thought of the many young girls and women I’ve known in my life who have been raped. Also, I thought of those who simply chose to have sex before marriage but have repented and want to have a godly husband. What does it mean for those women?
I further thought about the value placed on virginity. It is something beautiful for one to maintain their virginity until their wedding night. I definitely think not just virginity but purity is a godly pursuit. It is something I encourage my siblings, those I mentor, and my brothers and sisters in Christ to pursue. However, I would say virginity is not a determining factor in whether or not you’re going to ever have a godly man want to marry you. I want to expose the lie that says if you are no longer a virgin that you are worthless, unworthy of love, unwanted, damaged goods, trash, etc. You have been redeemed. Your value and worth is not in your virginity. We pursue to keep it because we love God but that is not where our values lies. Our value and worth is in the One who is worthy. Jesus Christ, the husband of the church. One scripture that comes to mind about the parallels of marriage and Christ and the church is in Ephesians.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. Ephesians 5:25-27 NASB
In this scripture, we see husbands are to be like Christ in loving their wives. Christ’s love for the church presents her to Himself, blameless. His love covers the sins of His bride. He has paid a price for her purity. Her purity, that cannot be obtained solely through her efforts regardless of whether or not she chose to remain a virgin. It is only Jesus who can blot out our sins and the sins against us. Overall, I want to encourage us to highly value and find worthy what Christ did for us at the cross because it is so much more so than what we can and cannot do.
And to any of those reading this who fear that a godly man will not want them because of their sin or sins committed against them: 1. Remember your worth is in Jesus and that He paid a high price for you. 2. A godly man is to be like Christ and cover with love those sins. 3. Trust in God and give Him your fears because it is perfect love that cast out fear and He loves us perfectly.
Much Love and Many Blessings!
Written By: Liz Livingston
Published on: 7/20/18